man treading water.

Anatomy of the Deep Well of Depression

The person treading water is my interpretation of what it is like for someone struggling with depression. The person in the picture is shown to have limited functionality in his life. He goes through the motions, exerting just enough effort to stay afloat.

His head is down and partially submerged under what I call the dark water of despair. Its as though he’s peering into the darkness of the abyss below him. He lifts his head from time to time, to fill his lungs with air before retreating back to his defeated state.

This is symbolic of interest deficit,  a real world symptom of depression. In my personal experience, while treading water in my own deep well of depression, I lacked interest in many areas of my life and I found it difficult to show interest in others. It felt as though a force would pull me in a single direction: toward isolation. I just wanted to be alone.

At times, it was a challenge to simply get out of bed in the morning. I remember times when I would shut the blinds, curl up in my bed and cover myself with a blanket. Like the person in the picture, I wallowed in defeatism. Sometimes, I would observe the sunlight beaming into my bedroom through the cracks of the blinds, failing to acknowledge the seemingly beautiful day on the other side of the window. Instead, I would roll over, cover my head with the blanket, and cry.

This is treading water in the deep well of depression.